SPA/SoCAA Can NOT Help the Following Problems:
1) People with Active Drug or Alcohol Addictions [NOTE: properly prescribed medications are NOT what we are talking about here, and you ARE WELCOME to attend our groups if you are taking Doctor-prescribed medication and believe that you are not actively addicted to it]**We recommend that people with ACTIVE drug or alcohol problems seek help elsewhere.
Also we encourage people with a history of addiction (or anyone using psychiatric medication, for that matter) to take extra care to make sure their Doctor fully understands A) if you are recovering addict when prescribing you with any kind of psychiatric medication in order to avoid a "relapse by prescription". Not all psychiatric medications are addictive, but if your Doctor doesn't know that you are a recovering substance addict, he or she may not take that into account when prescribing your medication.
B) Even if one has no prior history of addiction-- It is also wise to make extra-sure one's Doctor fully appreciates the seriousness of substance addiction, there are many Doctors who do, but there are some Doctors who minimize the seriousness of addiction, so choose your Doctors carefully as you would with any trusted professional. Getting a second, or even a third, opinion never hurts either. Most good Doctors will admit that no one, not even any one Doctor, should ever be an absolute authority on your health. Being a self-educating patient who becomes involved in ones own medical decision-making process, and who asks a lot of medical questions without trusting blindly, is a good idea for any patient and most good Doctors will be supportive and understanding of this. The following advice is always good advice--
C) How to Be a self-educating, involved patient: Always do your own research on any psychiatric medication that you take and be especially careful not to rely on drug-company sponsored or influenced websites. No Doctor is always right, and not all Doctors fully appreciate the seriousness of prescription drug addiction. This does not mean that all psychiatric medications are addictive, many aren't. Social Anxiety Anonymous support groups are not a forum for discussing such matters, but you may ask individual members about their experiences with medication in private, keeping in mind that they also are not authorities on the subject. Social Anxiety Anonymous as a whole is not anti-medication but we do encourage those who choose to use medication to do so as self-educated, empowered consumers, instead of blindly trusting any Doctor or automatically assuming that all psychiatric medications are automatically safe. Some are, and others should probably not be on the market. That is why blind trust, in this case, can have devastating personal consequences for the social anxiety sufferer who has their life further complicated by prescription drug addiction. As a rule of thumb, we recommend that ACTIVE substance addicts not attend Social Anxiety Anonymous support groups until they are at least 6 (six) months clean from addictive substances and are also getting
ongoing help from other support groupsor professionals who specialize in these areas) **SPA will NOT be
of any real help to people who are still active in their addictions-- and
these individuals may also be disruptive to the well-being of our groups until
they have stable, 6-month-plus (or even more) recovery from their addiction
problem, along with ongoing guidance from professionals or sponsors
specializing in that area. SEE BOTTOM OF PAGE FOR HELPFUL RESOURCES FOR
Various kinds of addictions.
2) Borderline
Personality Disorder (BPD) Although this problem appears
(on the surface) to include social anxiety symptoms, it is actually a very
different syndrome and many studies show that BPD itself is NOT very
responsive to approaches that help regular Social Anxiety. **However there ARE
scientifically-proven therapies that CAN help this problem and we encourage
people with BPD to seek professional help that will be most effective for their
needs. It should also be noted that people with BPD can (eventually,
sometimes after a honeymoon period) become very abusive and disruptive in
support group settings that are not professionally supervised This
is another reason why SPA asks people who are either
self-or-professionally-diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder NOT
attend Social Anxiety Anonymous / Social Phobics Anonymous groups. **BPD
Social Anxiety operates according to very different dynamics than regular
social anxiety. We wish people with BPD well, but we encourage them to seek the
professional help that can make a real difference for their problems. SEE BOTTOM OF PAGE FOR
HELPFUL RESOURCES FOR BPD
3) Severe (rather than mild to moderate) Passive-Aggressive Disorder (SPAD). Passive aggression is a tendency to act out of anger indirectly (and sometimes very directly). Many people with Social Anxiety have some mild to moderate passive aggressive tendencies and can still do very well in our groups. However SPAD (severe passive-aggressive disorder) takes on a very different character (becomes a very different syndrome) and can involve malicious (purposely hurtful or destructive) gossip, attempts to undermine others, personal targeting and revenge-seeking for imagined slights. In groups, severe passive aggression takes on a poisonous character and involves the person with severe passive aggressive syndrome targeting individuals that they feel less than, or who remind them of authority figures from their own past. This targeting will often involve behind-the back attacks (via malicious gossip) usually directed at the person that the severe passive aggressive is obsessed with. It should be noted that some severe PAD is chronic, and in other cases, people may develop SPAD temporarily during a break-down or in times of severe stress.
This is why in Social Anxiety Anonymous we strongly discourage any form of gossip in our groups, no matter how innocent or harmless it may initially seem to be, because a person with SPAD can be very clever at tricking others and manipulating them through gossip. A person with SPAD can be very friendly and nice to their allies, and yet show a much more aggressive face to their targets. People with SPAD especially love to gain allies (make friends) in order to use them against people who are the targets of their misplaced rage. This is why we encourage all group members to avoid any and all personal gossip, lest they fall (without realizing it) under the influence of someone with SPAD who is using gossip to act out on their compulsion to punish those that they fear, instead of dealing with their own social anxiety problem.
People with SPAD often find themselves embroiled in endless conflict, and seek to involve others in these dramas. A person with SPAD will often be caught up in a lifestyle of endlessly seeking to "win out" over (imagined) opponents. Whereas most people with social anxiety will seek to work on their own anxiety problems, keeping their primary focus on themselves, the person with SPAD will seek instead to have "victory over" those who make them anxious. SPAD behavior is not always obvious at first, because people with SPAD will try to hide the pattern from others, and can even make friends with quite a few people in order to gain allies for their dramas. Needless to say this approach can be destructive in support groups. But read on, because we have a simple and effective solution to this problem--
How Do We Protect Our Groups from SPAD? A strong "no gossip" policy (and practice, taken seriously by all members) quickly puts a stop to this behavior. Depriving the person with SPAD of the ability to gossip makes it impossible for them to cause any harm. This is very much like depriving a fire of oxygen. The "zero-gossip" culture in Social Anxiety Anonymous is one of it's most important and protective tenants. We make this practice strong and keep the group safe by refusing to ever gossip about other group members, under any circumstance, even with our most trusted friends.
Help for SPAD: The person with severe PAD usually needs additional, professional help, usually from a skilled therapist who also specializes in Social Anxiety Disorder, in order to get the confrontation and guidance that they need in order to finally see their own pattern. Therapists who ONLY treat social anxiety and have done so for many years, can be especially helpful, because they are very familiar with this problem. People with SPAD are not immoral individuals, they are actually usually angry for a good reason, although it's old, unresolved anger that is haunting them, and may also therefore be haunting those around them. The problem with SPAD is one of misplaced (misdirected) anger, although the anger of origin (from early experiences of abuse) may in fact be very legitimate. However the pattern of then displacing this old anger (directing it at innocent people) is frequently not legitimate or constructive.
NON-DIAGNOSIS. In SPA we do NOT
diagnose others as having drug/alcohol or BPD problems. We simply ask that
people make PERSONAL choices to come or not to come to our groups based on the above
information.HOWEVER Patterns of disruptive or abusive behavior in our groups
will not be tolerated and offending individuals will be asked to leave,
criminal or violent speech or behavior being unacceptable even once.
Are there rules of conduct
in SPA/SoCAA groups? No more so than most other 12 Step programs Being respectful of
others, respecting the group meeting format (which is explained each week at
the start of the group) and expressing ones needs in a constructive manner are
all that is required to be accepted in the groups. In such matters, patterns
of disruptive or abusive behavior rather than isolated incidents usually
determine whether or not someone might be asked to seek help elsewhere;
criminal or violent behavior (or speech) being unacceptable even once.
Alternatives
to SPA/ SoCAA & Resources for Other Problems: There are many
alternatives for people seeking help for social anxiety or other problems. A
few such alternatives are listed here, the Internet and professional guidance
being other ways to find out about such resources:
Resources for
Drug/Alcohol Addiction (Does NOT include
Benzodiazepine addiction, which has different recovery needs):
Alcoholics Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous
Cocaine Anonymous
Resource for
Benzodiazepine addiction (which has VERY DIFFERENT recovery needs from other types
of drug addiction) NOTE: there are about 20 drugs in the
benzodiazapine family and each has drug has its own seperate name. The link below will help you determine if your medication is a benzo and if you
have a benzo addiction):
Benzo Island
Resources for
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):
A list of Common BPD Symptoms: Note Additional Symptom Links On the Same Page. This site also has a wide range of helpful resources for persons who have BPD. NOTE: Having Some of these Symptoms Does Not Automatically Mean that One Has BPD; Getting A Professional Diagnosis Is Important if One Thinks that they Might Have BPD.
Middle Path: Awareness Compassion and
Support for those with Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder Central (BPD Central)
Alternative Resources for Social
Anxiety not complicated by Active Drug/Alcohol or BPD problems:
Emotions
Anonymous
Codependents
Anonymous (NOTE: SPA only recommends those CODA
groups that espouse a non-aggressive and fundamentally compassionate and
non-conflict-addicted approach to setting boundaries and meeting ones needs).
Resources for people with compulsive
Money, Debt or Income problems not strictly related to Social Anxiety:
Underearners Anonymous (help
for people with patterns of chronic underearning or chronic difficulties
realizing their dreams)
Debtors Anonymous (Includes lots of
help for people with chronic underearning patterns and chronic problems
realizing their dreams)
Internet Resources
for researching other help options:
National Self-Help Clearinghouse
Help if You are Suicidal (www.suicide.org)